Drunken Sebastian
by Kh-hp-Disneylover809
Summary: Inspired by J. Michael Tatum's discussions of how Sebastian would be like if he were drunk! After having one too many, Sebastian goes to a friend's house and gives her complaints that she doesn't even care for. How much can a sleepy person take if someone is too drunk? OOC Sebastian! rated for language and adult drinking!


_**Description: An incredibly drunk Sebastian Michaelis goes to his friend's house and she tries to fend him off the whole time. **_

__It was a calm night and everyone was in bed sleeping in heavenly peace—well, everyone except a certain raven-haired demon who was so bent that he couldn't see two feet in front of him. He stumbled down the street that would lead to one of his friend's house and kicked down the front door when he figured out it was locked. Mumbling incoherent words in Latin, French, and English, Sebastian sashayed up the stairs to his friend's room and opened her door loudly, which caused her to wake up.

The girl gave him a shocked look as he stumbled into her room. "Sebastian," she gasped in amusement, "are you drunk?"

"Oh, yes…No, no, no, officer," mumbled Sebastian in a drunken tone, sounding too much like Jack Sparrow, "I only had one drink…six times. I'm perfectly all right…Yes, yes, yes, my-my Lorth. Ciel, you are such a brat but I-but I love you, man…"

Jennifer merely blinked at him as he spoke in his garbled tone but she did nothing to stop him. In all honesty, she was having way too much fun hearing Sebastian talk while he was drunk.

"Sebastian," she said patiently, "Ciel is not here. He's at home, probably rehearsing his lecture for you." She giggled at the last bit because she knew that Ciel would give Sebastian a firm talking-to for getting too drunk.

"I-I don't care, love…" he mumbled, collapsing on her bed like it was his. "Th-iel is such a little brat…I don't even know why I performed the contract on him th-ometimes. All he ever does is whine, whine, whine. It gets really old after a while, ya know what I mean?"

"Uh, sure," she replied in a bored tone, irritated that she would never fall back asleep because of the drunk bane of her existence was here.

When he fell on her bed, she could smell the scent of catnip tequila and almost groaned out of irritation. Of course he would have catnip tequila. He had a cat fetish for everything in life. He even had twelve or fifteen cats hidden in his closet at Ciel's house because he knew the boy would never allow him to keep them. She decided when he got better she would give him the lecture of his life. He was going to get an earful.

"I love kitties," he continued mumbling incoherently as he snuggled into her bed like a cat would. "They're so…hic…soft and fluffy. If only the brat would let me keep some, but he doesn't know I have some hidden in the closet." Then he chuckled like he said something completely vulgar.

"That's very nice, Sebastian," she replied, losing interest in her drunken friend who was currently on her bed.

"You're soft too," he stated drunkenly, petting her short hair like he would pet a kitten. "You smell nice too *hic* but why do you keep a fleabag of a dog, Jenny-penny? Dogs are mean animals…"

Jennifer's eye twitched. She had enough of drunken Sebastian. "Shut up, Sebastian," she growled irritably, turning on her side so her back would face him.

"You know what I think," he continued as if she didn't speak, "you know what I think, Jenny? I think-I think that you should have been a demon. You would make an excellent demon. You're scary, short-tempered, and could kick anyone's ass any time of the day…"

Now she was really irritated. Despite being friends with a demon, Jennifer didn't like demons or the devil in any way, shape, or form, which was why she was so annoyed with Sebastian all the time. Her eye twitched again and she felt this insatiable urge to kill the drunken bastard in her bed.

"Sebastian," she said in the calmest tone she could muster, "if you don't close your eyes and go to sleep, you won't _see_ tomorrow morning. I'm allowing you to sleep in my bed, just this once, but if you do anything I don't want you to do, I'll throw you out the window, got it?"

"Yes, my Lorth…" he mumbled again, closing his eyes.

She resisted the urge to laugh and she closed her eyes to drift back to sleep but then the idiot spoke again.

"You know-you know, Jenny," he said drunkenly, causing her to wake up and roll her eyes irritably. "You are very soft, like a kitty, especially when you haven't shaved in a few days."

That was it for Jennifer. She clenched her fist and slammed it down on his head, causing him to fall unconscious. At least he finally shut up but if he touched her waist, hips, legs, or ass, he would be deader than a doornail.

_Just wait till he gets all the hell I'm gonna give him, _was her last thought before drifting back to sleep.

_**A/N: Okay, Sebastian is a bit OOC but come on, everyone becomes OOC when they've had one too many. This is inspired from J. Michael Tatum's discussions of what Sebastian would be like if he were drunk. I hope you like it anyways! R&R!**_


End file.
